Well, all of us here think YOU'RE a pretty stupid person. Because...

You are an only child because your parents didn't want to make the same mistake twice.

You like to call the Home Shopping Network and, when they say "Can I help you?", you say "No thanks, I'm just browsing".

You think 'RAM Drive' is an installation procedure.

You get intimate with the female ports on your PC. (Or is it the Male ports for you? Hmmmm.)

You need to use a rear-view mirror when you back-up your hard drive.

You get tired of having to fold all of your 5.25" disks in half to make them fit in that tiny 3.5" drive.

You can't figure out why a program won't work on your PC at work when it runs just fine on your Vic-20 back home.

You like to suck on Mothballs because you take the name literally.

You wear a T-Shirt that says "I'm with Stupid" and has a big arrow pointing up at your head.

You wear glasses instead of contacts because those little capsules keep falling out of your eyes.

When your parents told you to water the lawn, you got arrested for indecent exposure.

You majored in proctology in school and gave a whole new meaning to the phrase "Cramming for exams".

You tried to have sex dog-style once, but couldn't get the dog to stand still for long enough.

Your friends (what few you have) think you have a lack of understanding between each other, but you have no idea what they are talking about.

The dentist recommended brushing your teeth while you were in the shower, but you keep getting shampoo in your mouth.

You think the diving board is too high in your local car pool.

I could recommend a good psychiatrist, but I think you are way beyond help...

Martin, Annapolis MD, USA (BBS: 410-626-7854)

Abula-94